Many ASD children mask in order to fit in. However, it’s hard to fit in if your body has other ideas. Here we look at a common trait amongst children with ASD: stimming.
What is stimming
Stimming is the making of repetitive movements or noises which self-stimulate (or stim). These can make someone feel calmer. That’s why stimming often happens when people feel stressed, anxious, overwhelmed or excited.
What can stims look like?
Oral stimming: finger biting, finger sucking, chewing on clothes, chewing on the inside of their mouth, biting skin/fingernails
Verbal stimming: humming, whistling, tutting, repeating words or noises
Taste and smell stimming: obsession over a type of smell (wanting to smell it all the time) or taste (covering everything in spicy sauce)
Visual stimming: being stimulated by flashing lights
Tactile stimming: making a pattern using the hands, jiggling a leg, tapping surfaces, drumming fingers, flapping hands, rocking, twiddling a pen, pacing, banging head, cracking knuckles, twirling hair, using a fidget spinner or slinky
Do people know when they are stimming?
Not always. Sometimes, people only realise they stim when they see themselves on a video or when someone mentions it to them.
I was speaking with a teenage girl the other day about stimming. She’d never heard of it, but was immediately able to tell me that someone had commented recently on her rocking. Until then, she had no idea that she did it. She’s not bothered now that she knows!
I stim, should I try to stop it?
Stimming is what we call a ‘coping mechanism’, something that makes you feel calmer and more grounded. If you try to stop it, you may find you feel a bit more overwhelmed.
Although stimming can make you feel a little self-conscious, it’s often not as noticeable as you think. If you’re observant, you’ll probably notice other people’s stims for the first time!
My child stims, should I get them to stop it?
The first thing to remember is that children stim because it makes them feel calmer. Although you may find it hard to watch them stim, especially when their stim attracts some attention, stopping it could result in an unhappier child and a meltdown (imagine how you’d react if your calming glass of wine was taken off you when you needed it most)!
Distraction may help as may a change of environment, but it depends on the individual child. If your child enjoys oral stimming, you could try getting them some chewable jewellery. They may also find that using a weighted blanket or similar may help them stay calm.
I’ve noticed recently that autistic girls who flap can feel very self-conscious about this. One of my students was telling me that she has to stop herself flapping in order to fit in. Unfortunately, doing so can result in the Coke Bottle Effect.
I’m a teacher. A child in my class stims, does that mean they are autistic?
Not necessarily. You don’t have to be autistic to stim. However, if a child is stimming it means they are feeling the need to calm themselves – you can find out why they are getting overwhelmed and what you can do to help. It may also be worth chatting to their parents to find out if they have noticed stimming at home.
Is stimming a sign that someone isn’t concentrating?
The simple answer is ‘No’!
When I was a SENCO, several teachers came to me for help when they’d been distracted by children fiddling in their class. They thought it meant that the children were being rude or weren’t engaged. Once they knew that children stim in order to improve their focus and self-regulation, they found it easier to cope with… after all, the kids were actually paying them a compliment by trying to listen! It was interesting that none of the other pupils complained about the stimming, they were able to accept it as part of these children.
Should I remove everything that a child can fiddle with?
No, unless an object is dangerous. Stopping stimming can cause pressure and frustration to boil up. What’s worse? Learning to cope with finger tapping or making a child feel more anxious, overwhelmed and judged?
E’s Mum shared this sad story with me lately:
“E had always sucked his fingers. After we separated, his Dad tried to get him to stop. I guess his Dad was worried about what people would think of him. He doesn’t have to worry any more as E, hurt by his Dad’s inability to accept him as he is, now refuses to see him. The irony is that his Dad also stims when he is stressed, but doesn’t recognise it as such.”
A note from Patsy:
There’s no better way to learn about stimming, than from somebody who stims! Here, Gabe Moses, who has Aspergers Syndrome, gives a fascinating insight into ‘Stimming’ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZ8TTogOtCA