Choosing the right support for your child can be a stressful decision, especially if you’re new to the world of SEN parenting. Do you take up the offer of free support from a school, if you can get it, or do you pay extra to have private support?
Cost is the most obvious differentiator, but it’s not the only one. In this blog, I’ll take a look at six key areas to consider. It’s not the shortest of reads, but I’ve packed it full of info so you can decide what’s right for your family!
Flexibility
School support is more likely to take place during the school day. Some children are fine with missing lessons and fielding questions from classmates, but others struggle. If your child doesn’t like to draw attention to themselves or is likely to need some downtime after a session, they may prefer private sessions which take place after school or at the weekend.
Unfortunately, due to demand, there is limited help available to children via schools. If you opt for in-school support, they may only be able to offer a fixed number of sessions, e.g. six, with no possibility of extension. Policies vary from school to school, so it’s best to ask in advance about the possibility of longer-term support.
A private support provider may suggest a fixed number of sessions to begin with or keep your arrangement open-ended.
Location
As you’d expect, school sessions are held in school. Ideally, they’ll take place in a ‘softer’ environment, such as a sensory room, but this may not be possible or ‘different’ enough from the normal school environment for your child to feel comfortable. This is especially true if they are struggling at school or experiencing bullying.
By permission, private sessions may be held at school. However, they’re more likely to be held at home, online or at a neutral location.
Patsy comments, “Inviting a mentor into your home for the first time might be a little scary. However, there are lots of benefits. Your child is more likely to feel relaxed enough to open up as they’ll be in their ‘safe space’. You can ensure that they have access to whatever they need to feel comfortable and you can agree with the support worker on what’s acceptable in terms of language, attire and posture. For example, I won’t bat an eyelid if a child wants to wear a onesie, drink hot chocolate and fuss over the family dog whilst having a chat with me!”
Neutral locations can be useful for children with very rigid thinking, e.g. ‘school is for learning’ and ‘home is for playing, eating and sleeping.’ Blurring the boundaries by introducing support in either location can confuse or upset some children. You know your child best, so go with your gut instinct on this one!
The type of support they receive
School support is likely to be based on the support objectives and outcomes specified in your child’s EHCP, e.g. delivering support designed to improve attendance or behaviour in school.
Although a private support worker can deliver support based on your child’s EHCP, if they have one, they are more likely to also consider the wider needs of your child and family. As there’s no time limit on the number of sessions, they’re also able to support and challenge your child with content that’s at a pace that suits them, rather than what’s expected for their chronological age.
Patsy says, “One of the joys of being a private support worker is having enough time to give each child the dedicated time that they need, not just in the sessions themselves, but in terms of preparation and documentation. For example, I may need to advise your child’s school on the adjustments that your child needs at this particular moment in time and this must be done as quickly as possible. Documenting sessions is also important as it enables me to provide a detailed statement if you later apply for an EHCP or decide to change schools.”
Working with the family
Some schools will allow for the support provider to have a preliminary briefing with parents, while others will rely on teachers and SEN staff to provide some background.
A private support provider has the luxury of taking more time to understand your family and its unique dynamics and challenges.
Patsy says, “Having a 1:2:1 initial session with the parents at home or via Zoom allows me to understand how the child’s immediate family, i.e. parents and siblings, will benefit from the support I provide. Rather than focusing on just the child, I can also think about how to improve life for the family as a whole. For example, I can explore how to help parents to act as confident advocates for their children with school, medical providers and the wider family.”
Communication
Things change quickly in our children’s lives. Whether you’re using school or private support, check if you’re able to send a quick email or text between sessions so you can alert them to things that may be looming large in your child’s mind or affecting their behaviour this week. For example, if your child is having difficulty sleeping, is feeling unwell or is having a rocky time at home or school, it could affect their engagement.
Find out in advance if any messages will be acknowledged, so you have the comfort of knowing that the message has got through.
Patsy says, “I encourage parents to send me an email with any concerns. Unless there’s an emergency, I always respond within 12 hours so parents know that I have received the message and can tailor session content accordingly.”
It’s also a good idea to ask if you’ll receive feedback after each session. Patsy says, “I always give parents a quick summary of what we’ve covered in our sessions and provide parents with guidance on how to support children between sessions. Working together to support a child sees the best results.”
Consistency
School support will naturally only be available in term-time, whereas private support is likely to be available all year round (except when your child’s support provider takes some holiday). Being able to continue support through the school holidays can be helpful for children who struggle with changes in routine.
If your child is due to move schools, they may need extra support during the transition process. If that’s likely, private support may be a better option as they’ll be able to access support from the same person throughout the transition process.
Future-proofing your child’s wellbeing
We never quite know what life is going to throw at us. It may be that your child only needs a few sessions now, but they might require some additional support in the future as they face new challenges. If they find it hard to build relationships with adults, it may be better to use a support provider who’ll be accessible in the future.
Circling back to cost
A school support package is provided at zero cost to parents. A private support package relies on the parent covering costs. Your local authority may be able to fund your child’s support if it helps meet an objective outlined in their EHCP, such as helping your child understand and regulate their emotions, or if the school your child is on roll at can’t meet their need. Alternatively, it may be possible to secure funding as part of an Education Other Than at School (EOTAS) package if the local authority has not been able to provide a suitable placement for your child.
If you opt for private support, please ask about the cancellation policy in advance so you know how many hours of notice you have to give to cancel a session without charge.
Making the right decision for you and your child
Before making your final decision, it’s also worth spending time reading parent and child reviews of support providers or asking other parents for recommendations.
Next steps
If you’re thinking about private support, you’re welcome to book a 1:2:1 discovery call to explore how I can help. The options currently available are:
- A private support package for your family from £495.00
- Sharing support sessions with a small number of other families (available from January 2023, pricing TBC)
Don’t forget that interest-free payment plans are available.